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May 20th, 2011 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear Lakeysha “I Got Lots of Rollover Minutes” Beard,
I have heard your story and just have a few questions to ask of you.

  1. Did your phone get so hot that you thought about getting off of it during the 16 hours you were on it? Because that happens to me sometimes, after maybe 35 minutes my phone will start to singe my eyebrows, and that’s when I get off of it.
  2. Were you hoarse when you were ejected from the train?
  3. Who in the HELL were you talking to? Adult Hotline? A party line? Miss Cleo? A deaf person? Friends do not let friends get put off the Amtrak for not wanting to be the last one to say goodbye. I will admit that once upon a time I have been on the phone for at most 8 hours. I was probably in high school, you’re 39.
  4. When they first made the announcement that phone’s weren’t to be used in the quiet cars did you think, “Well they must mean those other kinds of phones, but not my phone.”?
  5. What the hell were you talking about? Global warming, Bin Laden, The Real Nicole Brown Simpson Killer? I really want them to interview someone who can tell us what her side of the conversation was about. It would be terrible if it turns out her phone wasn’t even on and she was just pretending to have friends.
  6. Can you explain exactly in what way you felt disrespected, I really would like to hear your side of the story?
  7. Oh and lastly what’s in that plastic bag, I’m just curious

Sincerely hoping you don’t call me and use up all my minutes,

For those of you who haven’t heard the story yet, our dear friend Lakeysha Beard was riding the Amtrak from Oakland, CA to Salem, OR in a designated “Quiet Car” and decided that she was exempt from being quiet and talked on her phone according to passengers from the time she board the train, until approximately 16 hours later when they had to stop the train about 20 minutes away from Salem to have police escort her off the train. Seems a passenger finally told her that she wasn’t allowed to talk on the phone in that car and she got into a verbal altercation with them. At least they stopped the train to put her off, I think I would have just slowed down. Check out the video below. I love how the police officer is pointing as if to tell her to go sit in the corner.

Now she needs a doggone whoopin’. I don’t understand why she just wouldn’t move to another train car. This train left Oakland at 10pm, which means she yapped alllll night!

Now I ride the el to work, and it’s about a 45-60 min trip each way. On the dreadful days when I leave my headphones at home and am forced to listen to people’s inane conversations both with each other and on their cell phones, I get quite frustrated. I’m pretty sure that I would not have made it anywhere near 16 hours. After about 2 hours one of us would have gotten off that train one way or another one. I can’t wait to hear more of her side of the story, since she felt “disrespected” and seems to not understand why she had to be escorted off. I just don’t understand why she wasn’t put off hours ago. If I was a passenger I would have been doubly pissed that now I have to wait for them to get her off the train when I’m only 20 minutes away from my destination. Shooooooo.

Friends don’t let Cheetah Girls sing songs about date rape & Roofies.

January 30th, 2010 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear Girl from 3LW/Cheetah Girls with the “peech inspediment”,

So glad you got that fixed, kinda, but I have to ask, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!!” How can you go from being a Disney Princess, to a hoe who enjoys date rape? For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about check out this new song by Kiely Williams called Spectacular. Can we say Hot Gobbich?Here are the lyrics if you can’t manage to sit through the whole song here are they lyrics, I’ve highlighted the relevant ones:

Last night I was drunk
I don’t remember much

But what I do constant pictures
That’s how gone I was
but he was tall and he was buying
So I gave him a trying
Said he was built like a stallion
And the man wasn’t lying

Last I remember I was face down
Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off
Even though I’m not sure of his name
He could get it again if he wanted
Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular (repeat 3x)

So it was the morning after
I couldn’t get home faster
Doing the walk of shame
In the same clothes from yesterday
I think he pulled a track out
When he was blowing my back out
What was I drinking
I can’t believe I blacked out


You can say what you want but
You can call me a slut but

What he did to me last night felt so good
I must have been on drugs
I hope he used a rubber
Or I’mma be in trouble

Promise I don’t remember
Except for
Give it to me, give it to me
Ooh baby what a ride ride
Oh ride ride
So smooth like it beats
I like the heat
Ooh baby what a night night
right right

Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular (repeat 3x)

Kiely Williams Get Yo'self Together! If this song isn’t advocating date rape I don’t know what is. I’m all for people not being role models and just helping themselves, but in reality we all know that folks (young and old) look up to celebrities. Just look at all these people wearing these lace-front weaves with bangs like Nicki Minaj. Ew. So this is teaching girls that it’s okay to get drunk, fuck a guy you don’t know, not use protection or birth control, and then brag about it to the world. Hm. Something seems to have went terribly wrong there. Now in doing some research I realize that Kiely didn’t write the song, Shanell from Young Money penned these, um, lyrics. She gets the GYT stamp too. So great Kiely didn’t write them, but damn did she read them before she decided to sing it?

If your ears aren’t done bleeding, check out her other song “Make Me A Drink”.

So Kiely get some self esteem and GET YO’SELF TOGETHER!

Fuh real, fuh real,

Doing it again in 2010!

January 9th, 2010 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear readers,
Sorry I’ve been gone for so long, Dianne got swept up in all kinds of nonsense, and sooo many people got away with not being urged to GET THEMSELVES TOGETHER, in 2009. Yeah I’m talking to you Tiger, you showed your Cablasian ASS in 2009, why on earth would you get married. I’m broke and I don’t want to get married, I’d think rich people would be trying to protect those assets, especially those who are “addicted to sex”.

But no more slacking, I’m back on top of things and will be pointing out all those that need to get it together this year. So don’t try to hide, instead act like you have some sense and maybe help out some other folks. You just may get the Has It Together Award.


Seriously? It’s 2000 m’fin 8!

August 13th, 2008 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear Spanish Olympian Basketball Players,
Racist Spaniards GYTWTF?! You guys are the most blatant and rude racists I’ve seen in a while. I mean on top of being racist, how can you have the balls to go to someone else’s country and be so ignorant and rude. When I saw this picture, I was like unbelievable! The fact that this is being used as an advertisement for a courier company which sponsors Spain’s Basketball Federation makes me wonder what the values are of both the courier company and the basketball organization. Even if the Chinese aren’t offended I’ll be offended for

them, if they talk about one group, they’ll talk about them all. It is 2008, this kind of foolishness should have been over decades ago, but at the same time I shouldn’t be suprised because look at how you treat your own black soccer players. Shameful. And really, the slanty eye thing, how old are you guys 12? For all those people who think, oh that’s not offensive, she’s too sensitive, it was just a joke, wait until your group is targeted next. Remind me not to take my black ass to Spain.

Read a damn book, and get some cultural awareness,

John Leguizamo’s Illegitimate Son?

July 13th, 2008 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear Parents of Future Actor or Woman Beater,
What are you doing in front of this little boy? Who are you letting him hang around. Either he’s watching the wrong movies, or he’s in the wrong environment. I mean he has the whole routine down from the “get out my house” to the “Lord Jesus”. Someone needs an intervention.

Please seek help,