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Get Yo'self Together

Loudest Public Transportation Conversation EVER!

June 12th, 2011 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear Random “I don’t have an inside voice” Stranger,
This is a first on the Get Yo’self Together Blog, I’ve never had to put a non-celeb/non-politician on blast like this. But you sir, sir, SHUT UP! I can’t believe that you sat your ass on this train and talked that loud about that many triflin’ stereotypical topics. You should be ashamed of yourself!

Number one it had to be about 900 degrees outside. Too damn hot to be talking loud, and there were at least 10 people on the train who were also in the same state of disbelief as I was. I mean DAMN! I’m pretty sure I gave you about 10 dirty looks that you were oblivious to.

I must admit that I did laugh a few times between you being entirely too excited about cheap chicken and someone being bust in the head with a 40oz bottle and a crate, but that was more laughing at and not with, seeing as you didn’t seem to find these situations humorous. Pimps and prostitutes, I mean just too much. I had to leave the train. I think you got Lakeysha Beard beat, so sir, once I talk to the proper athorities, you will be relieved of your phone in public places privileges, until you of course show that you can GET YO’SELF TOGETHER!

So readers, without further ado, the first official GYT video!

Lakeysha Beard, 16 hours, SERIOUSLY!?

May 20th, 2011 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear Lakeysha “I Got Lots of Rollover Minutes” Beard,
I have heard your story and just have a few questions to ask of you.

  1. Did your phone get so hot that you thought about getting off of it during the 16 hours you were on it? Because that happens to me sometimes, after maybe 35 minutes my phone will start to singe my eyebrows, and that’s when I get off of it.
  2. Were you hoarse when you were ejected from the train?
  3. Who in the HELL were you talking to? Adult Hotline? A party line? Miss Cleo? A deaf person? Friends do not let friends get put off the Amtrak for not wanting to be the last one to say goodbye. I will admit that once upon a time I have been on the phone for at most 8 hours. I was probably in high school, you’re 39.
  4. When they first made the announcement that phone’s weren’t to be used in the quiet cars did you think, “Well they must mean those other kinds of phones, but not my phone.”?
  5. What the hell were you talking about? Global warming, Bin Laden, The Real Nicole Brown Simpson Killer? I really want them to interview someone who can tell us what her side of the conversation was about. It would be terrible if it turns out her phone wasn’t even on and she was just pretending to have friends.
  6. Can you explain exactly in what way you felt disrespected, I really would like to hear your side of the story?
  7. Oh and lastly what’s in that plastic bag, I’m just curious

Sincerely hoping you don’t call me and use up all my minutes,
Dianne

For those of you who haven’t heard the story yet, our dear friend Lakeysha Beard was riding the Amtrak from Oakland, CA to Salem, OR in a designated “Quiet Car” and decided that she was exempt from being quiet and talked on her phone according to passengers from the time she board the train, until approximately 16 hours later when they had to stop the train about 20 minutes away from Salem to have police escort her off the train. Seems a passenger finally told her that she wasn’t allowed to talk on the phone in that car and she got into a verbal altercation with them. At least they stopped the train to put her off, I think I would have just slowed down. Check out the video below. I love how the police officer is pointing as if to tell her to go sit in the corner.

Now she needs a doggone whoopin’. I don’t understand why she just wouldn’t move to another train car. This train left Oakland at 10pm, which means she yapped alllll night!

Now I ride the el to work, and it’s about a 45-60 min trip each way. On the dreadful days when I leave my headphones at home and am forced to listen to people’s inane conversations both with each other and on their cell phones, I get quite frustrated. I’m pretty sure that I would not have made it anywhere near 16 hours. After about 2 hours one of us would have gotten off that train one way or another one. I can’t wait to hear more of her side of the story, since she felt “disrespected” and seems to not understand why she had to be escorted off. I just don’t understand why she wasn’t put off hours ago. If I was a passenger I would have been doubly pissed that now I have to wait for them to get her off the train when I’m only 20 minutes away from my destination. Shooooooo.

Source

Friends don’t let Cheetah Girls sing songs about date rape & Roofies.

January 30th, 2010 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear Girl from 3LW/Cheetah Girls with the “peech inspediment”,

So glad you got that fixed, kinda, but I have to ask, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!!” How can you go from being a Disney Princess, to a hoe who enjoys date rape? For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about check out this new song by Kiely Williams called Spectacular. Can we say Hot Gobbich?

Here are the lyrics if you can’t manage to sit through the whole song here are they lyrics, I’ve highlighted the relevant ones:

Last night I was drunk
I don’t remember much

But what I do constant pictures
That’s how gone I was
but he was tall and he was buying
So I gave him a trying
Said he was built like a stallion
And the man wasn’t lying

(Chorus)
Last I remember I was face down
Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off
Even though I’m not sure of his name
He could get it again if he wanted
Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular (repeat 3x)

So it was the morning after
I couldn’t get home faster
Doing the walk of shame
In the same clothes from yesterday
I think he pulled a track out
When he was blowing my back out
What was I drinking
I can’t believe I blacked out

(Chorus)

You can say what you want but
You can call me a slut but

What he did to me last night felt so good
I must have been on drugs
I hope he used a rubber
Or I’mma be in trouble

Promise I don’t remember
Except for
Give it to me, give it to me
Ooh baby what a ride ride
Oh ride ride
So smooth like it beats
I like the heat
Ooh baby what a night night
right right

Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular (repeat 3x)

Kiely Williams Get Yo'self Together! If this song isn’t advocating date rape I don’t know what is. I’m all for people not being role models and just helping themselves, but in reality we all know that folks (young and old) look up to celebrities. Just look at all these people wearing these lace-front weaves with bangs like Nicki Minaj. Ew. So this is teaching girls that it’s okay to get drunk, fuck a guy you don’t know, not use protection or birth control, and then brag about it to the world. Hm. Something seems to have went terribly wrong there. Now in doing some research I realize that Kiely didn’t write the song, Shanell from Young Money penned these, um, lyrics. She gets the GYT stamp too. So great Kiely didn’t write them, but damn did she read them before she decided to sing it?

If your ears aren’t done bleeding, check out her other song “Make Me A Drink”.

So Kiely get some self esteem and GET YO’SELF TOGETHER!

Fuh real, fuh real,
Dianne

Friends also don’t let ignant rappers read satire.

April 9th, 2008 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear Snoop Dogg,

Snoop Dogg | GET YO'SELF TOGETHERYes, I said IGNANT. When I read the following quote from your interview with the Guardian I was thoroughly confused, and dumbfounded, as I’m sure almost everyone else who read it were too.

“The KKK gave Obama money. They was (sic) one of his biggest supporters … Why wouldn’t they be? The media won’t tell you that. They don’t want you to know that. They just want you to know that this [bleep] befriended this other [bleep] who be (sic) threatening your values.”

“But we all know all presidents lie to get into [bleep] office. That’s they (sic) job.”

“In America’s eyes, that mutha[bleep]‘s gonna be president ‘cos (John) McCain can’t [bleep] with him. Hillary (Clinton) can’t [bleep] with him. He’s winning over white people, white ladies.”

I mean, I was like what did he…??? Who told…??? He said…??? Whaaa…???

And then I remembered reading this article last month on DailySquib.co.uk, a satirical newspaper from the UK, similar to the Onion. And I said to myself, “Self, is this where Snoop got his info from?” and self replied, “Didn’t I tell you to stop talking to me.” So that conversation didn’t go very far. But if this article is where you received your information then please try these following steps:

  1. Please, please, PLEASE, in the future do a little research before answering questions in an interview on topics that you know nothing about.
  2. May I also suggest you just stick to talking about your self, your pimp advisors, and your “music”. Just give a polite “no comment” to any other questions.
  3. GYT

If this is not where you received your information the aforementioned steps still apply.
So Snoop D-O-Double G, the time has come for you to GET YO’SELF TOGETHER!
OBAMA ’08!

For the love of all that’s good,
Dianne Vonwhoseeay

Source

Friends don’t let twins watch Oceans 11

March 27th, 2008 by Dianne Vonwhooseeay

Dear Keyontyli and Taleon Goffney (I hope I spelled that right, I hate when my name is misspelled),
Keyontyli & Taleon Goffney | GET YO'SELF TOGETHERWhat is really going on? When I read statements such as, they broke in “using only a handsaw and ax to get in through the roofs of the establishments” or “He swam across like Flipper, taunting the officers saying, ‘You’ll never catch me,’ Kunkel said.” all I can do is scratch my head and say, “Where were the parents?”

I mean you are two good looking guys, who actually have modeling and “acting” careers. I mean really what in the HELL? I understand that modeling may not be a steady job, and you may need some supplemental income, (which normally I would consider hard-core gay porn to be sufficient, but I digress). But for the love of Pete (not literally, nasty selves) why are you robbing places? And it’s not usual smash and grab burgularies, but some Oceans 11-13 type heist maneuvers of ordinary places, Rite Aid, Beauty Supply Stores, Wings and More? Really? Is this a reality tv show? They just haven’t told us yet right, am I on candid camera? No? Damn.

Well in that case, I have three requests for you:

  • Stop touching each other in porn.
  • Stay out of trouble!
  • And guys, please, please, GET YO’SELVES TOGETHER!!!

Thanks in advance,
Dianne

If you’d like to read more about the Adventures of K & T vs. Law Enforcement please check out the following link(s).

Twin gay-porn stars arrested in rooftop burglaries